Captured in Canada
by Clinically Insane
Summary: (Lance/Kitty)(Remy/Rogue) Here's most of it anyway. The plot: R/R meet up @ Sub-Zero, get stuck together (literally), go in hot presuit only to be intercepted by misbegotton mounties, thrown in the lock up and that's just the beginning-DONE!!!!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Captured in Canada  
  
(you know this won't end well)  
  
Chapter 1 It was early, well early for Remy. He had been out all night, AGAIN and had one hell of a hangover. His head was throbbing so bad, it hurt to breath. If the pounding in his head wasn't bad enough, the pounding at door was only making it worse.  
  
"G'day, Mate, it's 1 in the afternoon!" said the all too chipper Australian.  
  
"F*%# off!" yelled Remy throwing a charged boot at the closed door.  
  
BAM! (A huge scorch mark appeared on the metal door)  
  
----------  
  
"Sounds like Gambit's smashed again," said Mystique not looking up from her magazine.  
  
"What else is new?" asked Mesmero as he read the arts and leisure section of the New York Times.  
  
"He always goes overboard on Saturday nights," Pietro pointed out.  
  
More explosions could be heard followed by the Aussie's Crocodile Hunter impression, "CRICKY!" (I know what you're thinking 'That was too easy', I don't deny that. On with the story.)  
  
"Sometimes I think it would be easier if he just didn't come back one night," sighed Magneto.  
  
"Then what vould we do for fun on Sunday afternoons other than draw numbers to see who gets to vake him up?" asked Peter not looking up from War and Peace (I have to apologize, I have no idea why this particular book keeps reappearing in every chapter, I guess only to retain that touch of classical elegance. Don't tell me I'm too late, right?).  
  
"Life would be pretty boring without him," said Creed drinking a beer at the kitchenette table. Although he would never admit it, the kid was starting to grow on him, sort of.  
  
CRASH! (Something heavy, like a piece of furniture went down)  
  
BAM! BAM! BOOM! (more explosions)  
  
"Sounds like the Aussie forgot about that spare deck Gambit keeps under his pillow, for just such an emergency" Wanda chimed in.  
  
"Glad it's not me," said Pietro.  
  
"You can say that again, Comrade," said Peter.  
  
"Holy Shit, Mate, there's blood all over the sheets!"  
  
No everyone's undivided attention was focused on the dark, hallway.  
  
About a minute later the Aussie (what's his name?) was helping Remy down the hall. They could tell Remy was exhausted, he wasn't even attempting to put up a fight anymore. The Australian sat Remy down at the table and because he was a bit tipsy, so the Aussie held on to Remy's upper left arm to steady him.  
  
As the grip on Remy's arm got tighter he started to wince, "Ah, le'go!", he tried to free his arm.  
  
"Don't!" commanded Sabertooth taking out a pocket knife.  
  
"Mon Dui!" yelled Remy as he tried to recoil, but to no avail.  
  
"Sure, now you're awake," snickered the Aussie.  
  
Victor taking control of Remy's arm sliced his sleeve open.  
  
"Damn, Mate! What happened?"  
  
"Uh . . ." it was hard for Remy to think in 'Hang-over mode', "really hot pizza?"  
  
"Since when do you lay down on pizza?" interrogated Pietro.  
  
"Gambit, don' tink dat be any yo' business!"  
  
"Well, Mate, I don't see a cheese covered thong hanging out of your back pocket, is it in your room then?"  
  
Everyone couldn't help, but laugh as Remy glared at the Aussie.  
  
"And since when do you take gravel on your pizza?" asked Creed with a sneer.  
  
"You were drag racing again?!" asked Wanda in disgust.  
  
"Mystique, get a first-aid kit," ordered Magneto, "and with any luck we can get this meeting started."  
  
Mystique reluctantly got up from her comfortable armchair and put down her magazine. Magneto got the meeting underway, at last, with the occasional interludes of Remy's whimpering as Mystique the stones out one at a time with rubber gloves and fine tweezers, while Creed steadied his arm. After the first few stones Remy started to pull away.  
  
"Hold still!" said an annoyed Mystique.  
  
"Don't make me hold you down like last time!" threatened Creed.  
  
It was true. Last time Remy got injured Sabertooth had to pin him to the table to keep him from moving. He had to hold the back of Remy's neck down on the table to keep him from panicking every time Mystique came at him with a utensil. Truth be told treating Remy was worse than taking a neurotic dog to the vet.  
  
"Just once I'd like to take you to a real hospital when yer bleedin', so I can watch you in action with a full team of ER techs." Creed teased.  
  
That was it for Remy. He lurched to the right, sending a kitchen chair sailing into the back of the couch and nearly throwing both Sabertooth and Mystique off in the process.  
  
"It was a joke, Kid!" said Victor as he pulled a hyperventilating Remy back into place at the table.  
  
"If you insist on making those comments then hold him down!" said an exasperated Mystique.  
  
By the time Mystique had finished bandaging the wound, Remy wasn't doing so well.  
  
"There, all done," said Mystique to non-responsive Remy as she pulled off her now bloody latex gloves, "You're lucky it wasn't too deep. . . Gambit?"  
  
"Kid?" Creed shook Remy's upper back.  
  
Remy winced as his stomach wrenched. Maybe he shouldn't have had those last four rounds.  
  
"Is there anything else?" Magneto asked as he winded the meeting down.  
  
Sabertooth dragged Gambit's nearly limp body over to the sink. Mystique put the medical kit away, while Remy threw up in the sink.  
  
"Well in that case, meeting adjourned," said Magneto looking over at Remy.  
  
"It wouldn't be an end to a meeting if Gambit wasn't vomiting in the kitchen sink," said Wanda sarcastically. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Meanwhile back at Mutant Manner the Danger Room session for the day had just let out. Everyone was exhausted. Logan had been on a rampage for the past week. He normally got like this before he went on the road. All they had to do was endure a session or two more and then Mr. McCoy would let them play dodge ball until Logan got back.  
  
"I have never been in so much pain," groaned Magma as she eased her self into a chair.  
  
"As much as I don't want to admit it that session was a little too intense for me too," said Jean.  
  
"Vhy does he do zeez things to us? asked Kurt.  
  
"Ah, don't know, but Ah'm going goin' to bed early," said Rogue.  
  
"That's not a bad idea," said Kitty following Rogue out of the commons room.  
  
"I don't know what all of you are complaining about. I thought today's session was invigorating!" said Scott.  
  
"You would," commented Berzerker (he's with the X-men, right?)  
  
-------------  
  
Up in Kitty and Rogue's room Kitty was getting dressed for her date with Lance later that night.  
  
"Ah, don't know wha you even bother dressing for him, he's only gonna tare your clothes off later." Rogue pointed out as she read a book on her bed.  
  
"Like what do you care?" asked Kitty indignantly.  
  
"Ah don't, but Ah will when Ah have ta be the one ta explain your torn clothes."  
  
"Oh, would you like relax and braid me hair already!"  
  
"Whay can't ya braid it yerself?" asked Rouge.  
  
"Because my arms are too sore to reach all the way behind my head, like I so hate it when Mr. Logan goes into training mode major."  
  
"Fihne," said Rogue as she put her book on the nightstand and lifted a pair of satin gloves, "bring that brush over here and sit down."  
  
-----------------  
  
Gambit woke up on the couch four hours after the meeting ended. His headache was gone, but his arm still stung. The funny part was Gambit didn't remember walking over to the couch.  
  
"So you finally decided to wake up," said Sabertooth as he read the obituaries.  
  
Remy looked up to see Creed sitting across from him, "What time is it?"  
  
"A little after 5," responded Sabertooth.  
  
Remy slowly rose to his feet still a little off balance, "Gambit be back later, non" and then made his way to the door.  
  
Mystique and Magneto came running into the commons room when they heard Remy's motorcycle backfire as he pulled out of the garage.  
  
"Tell me you didn't just let him walk out of here!" shouted Magneto.  
  
"Ok" said Creed not looking up from the obituaries. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Once Rogue and Kitty heard Logan's bike take off out of the driveway, Rogue turned on the headlights to Scott's car and pulled out into the road before the gates to the mansion closed. They drove all the way into the city to an exclusive café, Le Gamine, Mischief (I don't know that many French words).  
  
Rogue pulled into the parking lot and parked to let Kitty off.  
  
"Like thanks, Rogue," said Kitty as she went to get out of the car.  
  
"Wait, Kitty, you have your cell phone and my cell number, right?"  
  
"Yes, for like the millionth time!" said Kitty as she got out of the red convertible and slammed the door.  
  
Once Rogue saw Kitty go into the restaurant she did a quick check before she pulled out and who did her wandering eyes fall upon, but . . .  
  
"Swamp Rat?" she said under her breath.  
  
He was walking into a nightclub,  
  
"Sub-Zero?!" gasped Rogue.  
  
That was it. Rogue put up the top, locked the car and headed over to the club. She tipped the bouncer a twenty to get on the list and followed Remy up at a distance. She took a seat in the far corner ordered a sex on the beach.  
  
After a half-hour of just watching him sit there Rogue finally got fed up, walked over to his table and sat down across from him.  
  
"Well, if dis isn't a pleasant surprise, evenin' Chère," said Remy over his glass of chardonnay.  
  
"What, er you doin' here, Swamp Rat?" interrogated Rogue.  
  
"Remy, might ask Chère de same question."  
  
"Ah thought this place is the reason Wanda an' Kitty had ta save yer sorry hide."  
  
"Mebe, mebe non. Why it matter to you?"  
  
"Ah, don't know," said Rogue looking down into her glass, "Ah would just think you would want to avoid this place after . . ."  
  
"Mind if I smoke?"  
  
"No"  
  
As Remy pulled out a cigarette, a silver lighter seemed to come out no where with a white flame. Rogue and Remy followed the arm up to find a white-haired, amethyst eyed woman dressed like a waitress looking down at them.  
  
"Merde!" yelled Remy dropping his cigarette.  
  
Rogue knew exactly who the woman was without a doubt.  
  
"Who vere you expecting? Smokey ze bear?" asked the woman.  
  
"YOU!" shouted Gambit as he leapt to his feet.  
  
"Not so fast, ya?" asked the woman as she produced a pair of handcuffs, "I know you arre qvick, but arre you resourceful? Catch me . . . If you can . . ."  
  
Before Remy and Rogue knew what happened they found themselves handcuffed together. Remy charged a glass and threw it towards the woman, but to no avail.  
  
"C'mon, Chère!" yelled Gambit as he dragged Rogue toward the exit and after the woman.  
  
The next thing Rogue and Remy saw was the white-haired woman pulled out into the street on white motorcycle.  
  
"Damn! She be getting' away" said Gambit as he dragged Rogue to his motorcycle.  
  
"Oh, no!" exclaimed Rogue, "Hell will freeze over before Ah go on some wild goose chase in the middle of the night in New York City!"  
  
"Den consider de Devil be puttin' on his skis," said Remy as he pulled Rogue on to the bike, in front of him and sped off after his mystery woman.  
  
They pursued her for 3 hours. It was about 10 when all three bikers crossed the Canadian boarder. It was getting darker and colder as Remy and Rogue drove further into what seemed to be the wilderness of Canada.  
  
Long about 10:30 when they had almost lost sight of the white haired woman, they were pulled over by none other than the Canadian Mounties.  
  
"Now what, Swamp Rat?!" asked a rather peeved Rogue.  
  
"Run!" ordered Remy.  
  
It was the perfect plan and the forest would have given them the perfect cover, but there was one problem. They ran in opposite directions causing them to fall flat on their asses because of the handcuffs.  
  
The two Mounties smirked at each other.  
  
As Rogue and Remy got to their feet and dusted themselves off Rogue took the opportunity to place some blame, "Ah hope you realize this is entirely your fault, Swamp Rat! And if anyone asks I was kidnapped."  
  
"Chère, you could've hit de brake anytime!" Gambit pointed out.  
  
"That's beyond the point!" snapped Rogue.  
  
"Gambit, don' see how!"  
  
"That'll be enough now, eh?" said one of the Mounties at long last.  
  
Gambit and Rogue turned to face the two highly decorated Mounties.  
  
"Do you know how fast you were goin'?" asked the other Mounty.  
  
Gambit and Rogue looked at each other.  
  
"Try 180 kilometers in a 100 kilo zone," the first Mounty answered the question, "State yer business in Canada."  
  
After Rogue and Remy retold the events that took place earlier that evening they were promptly given breathalyzer tests. And we all know that they failed miserably because of their ronde vu at Sub-Zero.  
  
"We have to take them into custody," the first Mounty said to the other.  
  
This was shaping up to bad night.  
  
"Or," Remy chimed in, "we could jus' call for de cab and forget dis whole ting eve' happened."  
  
"Get in," said the second Mounty opening the back door of the cruiser.  
  
Rogue and Remy complied knowing better than to use their powers, lest they get into even more trouble. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Back at Le Gamine Kitty and Lance were just finishing their meal.  
  
"So am I taking you home or is Rogue?" asked Lance.  
  
"I thought Rogue was, but I like don't see her anywhere," said Kitty.  
  
"Well, I'll take you back and we can take a detour on the way," said Lance as he paid the check.  
  
Kitty left with Lance and after an hour of leisurely love making she completely forgot about Rogue's mysterious disappearance. Lance dropped Kitty off at the mansion at around 11 and went home while Kitty snuck back up to her room.  
  
The room was dark as Kitty climbed through the window, she figured Rogue was asleep, so she put on her nightgown and went to bed. About 15 minutes after Kitty laid down she remembered seeing Scott's car as Lance drove out of the parking lot.  
  
"Like I hope Rogue brings Scott's car back before he wakes up," murmured Kitty as she drifted off to sleep.  
  
----------------  
  
Meanwhile back in Canada Rogue and Remy were driven back to the station and brought in for questioning. After their initial interrogation the 'dynamic duo' were led to their cell.  
  
"Alright, kids, this is home for tonight, eh?" said the first Mounty, as he unlocked the cell door.  
  
"Wait, aren't you gonna un-cuff us?" asked Rogue.  
  
"We can't Miss. Those cuffs have no keys and we don't have a saw heavy enough to cut through them." responded the Mounty.  
  
"What?!" yelped Rogue, "You mean Ah'm stuck with him all night?"  
  
"Don' tink you be dat great to be tied to either!" Remy pointed out as the Mounty closed the door.  
  
"You each get one phone call," said the Mounty as he locked the door, "Just yell when you want to call or if need anything."  
  
With that the Mounty walked back to his desk, sat down and picked up the paper.  
  
"Well, as long as we stuck here," said Remy unzipping his pants.  
  
"Are ya deranged?!" asked Rogue about to have heart failure, "What do ya think yer doin'?"  
  
"Taken' a leak," said Remy like it was the most normal thing in the world.  
  
"No way, Ah don't think so!" said Rogue coming out of her initial shock.  
  
"What Remy spose't do den?"  
  
"Tiah it off!" said Rogue.  
  
"Remy don' know why you so dainty all of a sudden, Chère. Ain't nothin' you haven't seen before, non?"  
  
"Well, Ah nevah!" said Rogue pushing Remy down on the metal (fold down) bench.  
  
"Quoi?" laughed Remy as he staggered back on to the bench.  
  
"I don't mean to pry, but aren't you two a little young to married?" asked the other Mounty at the coffee machine.  
  
"We're not!" corrected Rogue.  
  
"What have I told you about talking before you think?" growled the first Mounty.  
  
"Well now, did we wake up on the wrong side of the bed this mornin' Bob?" asked the second Mounty.  
  
"You gotta problem, Larry?" said Bob in dangerous tone.  
  
"I've had it with you!" Larry shouted as he drop tackled Bob.  
  
Just then the Captain of the Mounties walked out of his office, "Bob, Larry what in the name of Québec is going on and where is Zeek?"  
  
"He went to go check on the horses," said Bob as he held Larry in a headlock.  
  
"Why do I even bother?" the Captain rolled his eyes and then turned his attentions over to the dynamic duo behind bars, "What 'er these two in fer?"  
  
"D.U.I.," Larry managed to choke out before both he and Bob fell to the floor.  
  
Somehow Larry had managed to free himself of the headlock and was now punching the crap out of Bob.  
  
"Dis gon' be a lon' night," sighed Remy as he covered his red and black eyes with his hand.  
  
"Well, who 'er we callin'?" asked Rogue.  
  
"Whoever won't kill us, Chere."  
  
"Ah guess Ah'll call Kitty's cell phone" said Rogue.  
  
"Wanda's a long shot but Remy don' have much choice otherwise." said Remy then turning to the captain, "We're ready to call."  
  
After two long winded messages left on both Kitty and Wanda's cell phones the captain handed a pillow and a blanket to Remy, "You kids should get some sleep."  
  
The heavy door slammed shut again.  
  
Remy put the pillow down on the bench , took off his coat and covered the raw meta. He draped the blanket over himself laid down and then looked at Rogue, "C'mon," he held the blanket up for her to climb under.  
  
"HELL NO!" yelled Rogue.  
  
"Cher, Remy's tired, jus' come to bed and we can fight again in de mornin'"  
  
"An have you feel me up? No thanks, Ah'll sleep on the other side of the cell."  
  
"Remy don' see how wid dat cuff round yo wrist," he said looking pointedly at her wrist.  
  
"Cajun, Ah swear if you so much as trah anything, you will not leave this cell in one piece. Do Ah make mahself cleah?"  
  
"Oui, Chere, now to bed, non?"  
  
"Fahne," said an exasperated Rogue as she climbed under the blanket.  
  
"Dere now was dat so hard?"  
  
"Get yo' hand offa mah ass!"  
  
"Quoi, Chere, you can take a joke, non?"  
  
"NON! Now Ah suggest we go to sleep before you become a paraplegic!"  
  
"Point taken, Chère," said Gambit as he nuzzled Rogues hair and then snuggled into the pillow, "Bon Nuit."  
  
"Naght yo'self, Cajun, and yo arm better not move from mah waist," warned Rogue. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Back in New York, Kitty received an extremely rude awakening. It went something like this:  
  
"WHERE'S MY CAR!?" (Oh, come on if you need to know who said this, you've never seen the show).  
  
Kitty sat straight up in bed and looked over to see Rogue's bed still in mint condition from the last time she made it, "Oh shit, Rogue never came home!".  
  
It's a good thing Kitty didn't drink any water before bed because the next thing she heard would have definitely made her pee her pants:  
  
"HALF-PINT, GET DOWN HERE NOW!"  
  
--------------  
  
Meanwhile back at Magneto's, another meeting had been called. This time Peter a.k.a. the Colossus had drawn the short straw. He was taking no chances, as he started down that hall he went fully armed. He hesitated as he reached for the metal door handle. He thought it best to announce his presence rather than catching Remy off guard. The last thing he wanted was a charged mattress to meet him half way across the room.  
  
"Gambit?" asked Peter as cracked the door open.  
  
He walked in to only be welcomed by the Cajun's disheveled bed.  
  
"Gambit?" he checked the bathroom and the closet, but to no avail.  
  
Peter walked back down the hall to the commons room to be greeted by the confused looks of his teammates.  
  
"Well, where is he?" demanded Mags.  
  
"I have no idea. He's not in his room."  
  
"WHAT?!" everyone was extremely confused.  
  
"Looks like you got what you wished for," said Mystique smugly.  
  
Magneto glared at her.  
  
"He's normally back before dawn." said Pietro, "Are you sure he's not just hiding?"  
  
"That's bazaar," said Wanda looking at her cell phone, "no one has this number, but it says I have a message."  
  
"Here, lets hook it up to the answering machine," offered Mystique.  
  
The message was as follows:  
  
"Hey, it's Gambit. You not gonna b'lieve dis, but we're in prison in Canada."  
  
"Whadda ya mean we, Swamp Rat?!" Rogue's voice could be heard.  
  
"Easy, Petie, Remy jus' meant.OW!"  
  
"WE wouldn't be heah if it weren't for you!"  
  
(Crashing) "HELP!"  
  
(Silence)  
  
"Do ya think that worked?" asked Rogue.  
  
"Cher, Remy din' hang up yet."  
  
"God damn it!"  
  
(Dial tone)  
  
By the end of the recording Mystique was on her feet, yelling at the answering machine, "My daughter is in a Canadian prison with that . . . that . . . "  
  
"Player?" Wanda offered.  
  
"Exactly!" yelled Mystique.  
  
"Here," said Magneto holding out a blank check to Sabertooth, "take this and bail Gambit out. I'll try to hold Mystique off," as he grabbed her around the waist.  
  
Sabertooth took the check and headed out the door knowing better than to get in Mystique's way.  
  
---------------  
  
At Mutant Manor the reactions were about the same after a similar message left on Kitty's phone.  
  
"WHAT THE F*#%?!" yelled Wolverine. His voice reverberated off the cold plaster walls of the institute, "WAIT 'TILL I GET MY CLAWS IN HIM!"  
  
"Clam down, Logan," Professor X attempted to bring Wolverine to his senses, but to no avail.  
  
"Yes, Logan, anger will only further complicate the situation at hand," Storm interjected, while making sure she was positioned enough in front of Kitty to protect her from any bodily harm. Logan was a bit of a livewire in these types of situations, taking his aggressions out on the closest object.  
  
"Oh no, I want to hear this explanation in person, both sides!"  
  
"Alright, Logan, take this check and go bail Rogue out." said Xavier.  
  
Wolverine was all to happy to take the money and run, "Be back later, Chuck."  
  
"Oh and, Logan, I'm in no hurry to make a sizable donation to the Canadian police station." the Professor added.  
  
"I'll see what I can do," replied Logan, rolling his eyes to himself.  
  
"Charles, I'd write another blank check before I put the book away," Storm suggested.  
  
"I heard that!" yelled Logan from the main hall. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
In the meantime Remy and Rogue were still unconscious in a blissful slumber completely oblivious to the chain of events that had been set into action by their arrest over the course of the previous night. Little did they know just how much trouble they were going to be in when their rides came. Those poor son's of bitches; they didn't even see it coming. Although two others figured it out, unfortunately it was far too late. Those two were Kitty and Lance.  
  
As soon as Kitty got back to her room she called Lance to see if he had any more information on the pending situation at hand.  
  
"Kitty?" asked a sleepy Lance, "What time is it?"  
  
"It's like noon, Lance. You're still in bed?!"  
  
"Of course it Saturday!"  
  
"Never mind! Have you heard anything about Rogue and Gambit?"  
  
"Ya, they're in Canada. Mags sent Sabertooth up to get Gambit, why?"  
  
"SABERTOOTH?!" Kitty screamed into the receiver.  
  
"Ah, Kitty, too loud too early," Lance yelped into the receiver.  
  
"Lance, the Professor sent MR. LOGAN!"  
  
"Mr. Logan? Mr. Logan who?...HOLY SHIT, WOLVERINE!"  
  
"Lance, we have to get up there!"  
  
"Are you kidding? The safest place for us is as far away from Canada as possible! How about I pick you up and we spend the rest of the day in bed?"  
  
"Is that all you can think about at a time like this? What about Gambit and Rogue?"  
  
"Can't say I'll miss 'em," Lance Joked.  
  
"Really?" said Kitty in mock surprise, "Can't say I'll miss Saturday afternoons with you."  
  
(silence)  
  
Lance sighed, "Let me locate some pants and I'll meet you at school. I'll bring the tranquilizers."  
  
"I'll bring the condoms. Oh and, Lance . . ."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I love you," said Kitty in a perky tone.  
  
"I love you too," said Lance through his teeth as he hung up.  
  
(Ah, young love)  
  
---------------------  
  
The two ronde vu-ed in the school parking lot and headed out for Canada. After getting lost twice they finally found the right interstate and gunned it on the thru-way. Unfortunately time was against them because both Wolverine and Sabertooth had set out a considerable amount of time beforehand. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
  
Wolverine and Sabertooth arrived in the station parking lot around the same time. As soon as they parked, they sized each other up.  
  
"Why am I not surprised they sent you, Runt?" Sabertooth growled.  
  
"Because they knew I could fix whatever you screwed up, Old Man." Wolverine shot back.  
  
"That'll be enough now, boys." said the Captain of the Mounties walking out of the station.  
  
"Hey, Paul," said Wolverine.  
  
"You do realize we're both older than you? A considerable amount older." said Saberthooth.  
  
"Ya, I know, it just doesn't seem to register. You two wouldn't happen to have seen Zeek anywhere, would you?"  
  
"No. Is he still trying to train that mare?" asked Sabertooth.  
  
"OH SHIT!" yelled Zeek as he was dragged through the parking lot in his uniform, although he had lost the hat somewhere along the way, by small black mare.  
  
A crash came from inside the station.  
  
"Don't tell me Bob and Larry are still at it," said Wolverine.  
  
"What the sons I never wanted? The two of you should know, eh? You're in here enough."  
  
"Of course we're in here all the time, Paul, how many other stations are run by a telepath? Every time one of us gets in trouble you come and find us." Sabertooth commented.  
  
"C'mon the kids are in cell B." said Paul.  
  
"Let's make 'em sweat it out some more," said Wolverine.  
  
"You do realize they're still asleep." said Paul.  
  
"I hope they enjoyed it," said Sabertooth with a snicker, "because where they're goin' the lectures are gonna rage on fer weeks."  
  
"Well, if where they're goin' is that bad allow me to buy them some time. Lets go crack open a Molson er two."  
  
------------------  
  
Meanwhile Lance and Kitty were in dire need of a GPS (Global Positioning Satellite) System.  
  
"Lance are you sure you know where you're going?" Kitty asked as she watched the trees go by out the window.  
  
"Of course I know where I'm going!"  
  
"Maybe we should have asked back at that gas station."  
  
"Kitty, for the last time I don't need directions and even if I did I wouldn't be able to ask anyone we're in a completely French speaking section."  
  
"Fine, you don't need directions." said Kitty dismissively.  
  
"See, there's the sign for the police station." said rather pompously, "Men don't need direction!"  
  
"Like at the rate your going this man won't need sex either!"  
  
"Just kidding, Ha ha, what you don't know a joke when you hear it?" Lance said nervously.  
  
---------------  
  
It was nearly two thirty, Remy and Rogue were still asleep. The only problem with the peaceful scene was that now all the beer was gone.  
  
"I almost don't want to wake the little monsters up." Paul admitted, "When they're asleep is the only time things are actually quiet minus Bob and Larry of course."  
  
"Tell me about it," said Sabertooth, "but all things have to come to an end."  
  
Logan cleared his throat, "STRIPES!"  
  
THUD! Remy and Rogue hit the cement floor hard and fast, landing in a tangle of limbs, blanket and chain.  
  
The dynamic duo looked up at a very unwelcome sight.  
  
"Ahg, get offa me, Swamp Rat!" yelled Rogue as she shoved Remy off to the side and leapt to her feet, "Logan?! Whah are you here?"  
  
"The question is what are you doing here?" Logan growled.  
  
"Ah have a perfectly logical explanation for whah Ah'm in this cell." Rogue trailed off.  
  
"Glad to hear it, Stripes. What is it?"  
  
"Uh. . . . Remy whay don't you tell him how we got here."  
  
"Oh, so Chere only likes Remy when he can help her?" said Remy with mock emotional damage, crossing his arms as he turned his back to her.  
  
"Did you hit yer head or somethin'? We're in this mess because of you and yer stupid mystery woman!" yelled Rogue.  
  
"Perdon?! Cher, could've hit de brake at any time!" Remy flew around to face her.  
  
"And what throw myahself headfirst into the road!?"  
  
"That'll be enough, time to go," said Paul as he unlocked the door.  
  
Both Remy and Rogue sprang forward as Paul opened it.  
  
CLANG! The door slammed shut.  
  
"You two are the first who have refused to leave a cell, c'mon," said Paul as he attempted to open the door again.  
  
"NO!" Remy and Rogue yelled simultaneously pulling the door shut again.  
  
Paul tried to suppress a laugh.  
  
"You don' get it" Remy insisted.  
  
"If you give us to them we will diah long and painful deaths!" Rogue explained.  
  
"What those two?" asked Paul, "I wouldn't be too concerned, they're sportsmen, they'll give you a head start, then hunt you down. Although that chain will slow you down."  
  
"I don't know about the runt over there, but I won't be hunting anything until Mystique is finished with him." said Creed.  
  
Rogue cringed just at the sound of her foster mother's name.  
  
"Tell Gambit, she not be waitin' back 'ome."  
  
"Ok," Creed shrugged.  
  
Gambit shuddered.  
  
"How much is this gonna coast?" asked Wolverine.  
  
"I thought you already paid." said Paul rather confused, "My records show they both made bail earlier this morning."  
  
BANG! The door to the station flew open to reveal Lance and Kitty fully armed with 60-caliber pistols.  
  
"What the hell?!" Logan growled.  
  
"Merde, Gambit tink you lost your minds."  
  
"How did you clear customs?" asked Paul.  
  
"We didn't exactly go through customs." said Lance.  
  
"Half-Pint what are you doin' here?" yelled Logan.  
  
"We came to save Rogue and Gambit once we heard you two were sent to get them."  
  
"And where did you get 60-caliber pistols?" asked Creed.  
  
"I know a guy," said Lance slyly.  
  
"Ah changed mah mind open the door Ah've been wanting extra closet space for a long time now!" yelled Rogue preparing to take her roommate with extreme prejudice.  
  
Remy had to practically pry Rogue off the bars, "Easy, Chere!"  
"Back Off, Swamp Rat!"  
Things were undoubtedly about to get ugly when the fax machine went off.  
"Larry, Bob one of you get that!" yelled Paul.  
"Kind of detained at the moment, Sir," yelled Larry as he tightened his grip around Bob's trachea.  
"Uh, Gambit, is this your mystery woman?" asked Creed holding up a photo of the woman from the nightclub.  
"Mon diu, where did that come from?"  
"The fax machine, it says she covered your bail and to blame her for your arrest, that she was the one who chained you together." Creed summarized the inscription on the image.  
---------------  
  
So, after a little assist from Logan's claws Remy and Rogue were finally able to part company, but the day was far from over. Wolverine took Rogue back to the manor and Lance took Kitty home as well, while Sabertooth took Remy to what he believed to be his last minutes on earth once Mystique got a hold of him. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
  
"AHHhhhh!" yelled a distraught Gambit as he ran frantically down the halls and in and out of various rooms in Mags' lair.  
  
"Get back here!" yelled Mystique in hot pursuit, "I'm not going to hurt you, I'm just going to kill you!"  
  
"Oh, ya he'll just come trotting back to you now," Creed rolled his eyes.  
  
"Who asked you?!" yelled Mystique picking up a carving knife.  
  
"I call his CD collection," said St. John.  
  
"Stereo System," said Peter.  
  
"Motorcycle," said Wanda.  
  
"Tanks a lot guys!" yelled Remy as ran through the commons room.  
  
"What fresh hell is this?!" yelled Magneto as he walked out of his office, "I can't even hear myself think. How long has she been chasing him?"  
  
"A little over three hours," said Mesmero.  
  
As they came back through the commons room again Mystique cornered Remy against a chair, "Maybe this will help you remember to stay away from my daughter!" she growled lifting the knife.  
  
"MERDE!" yelped Remy as he toppled backwards over the chair and into the center of the commons room.  
  
When he landed the keys to his motorcycle fell out of his pocket. Quickly Remy sized the keys and made a mad dash for the door.  
  
"Damn it!" yelled Mystique as she threw the knife down and charged after him.  
  
The last thing they all heard was the sound of Remy's motorcycle backfiring into the night followed by a litany of swear words from Mystique.  
  
-------------------  
  
As you most likely deducted Kitty and Rogue had be grounded for God only knows how long. And considering they wouldn't be seeing the light of day anytime soon, not that Rogue was too distraught, she decided the risk of sneaking out in the middle of the night to see Gambit was minimal, considering her and Kitty had Blackbird detail most likely until the end of time itself.  
  
Rogue walked cautiously down the hall from her room it had seemed as though Kitty had taken a literal eternity to fall asleep. All she had to do was go out the back door and jump the wall once she disabled the security cameras from the main hall. She dove behind a potted plant and froze a Logan walked by.  
  
"Ah, coulda sworn Ah saw him go to bed," thought Rogue.  
  
Rogue held her breath as Logan sniffed the air. He snorted in distaste and then walked off. The next thing Rogue heard was the refrigerator door opening, it was the best sound she had ever heard. She waited for Logan to go back up stairs before she made her next move. She had received an anonymous e-mail earlier that night requesting her presence in a small wooded area at look out point. She could only assume it had been from Gambit. So, without a second thought she headed out into the night.  
  
------------------  
  
Gambit had pulled over to the side of the road to catch his breath after fleeing in terror for over three hours. As he sat propped up against his bike he played with his cell phone and soon discovered an unread text message that requested his in a small wooded area at look out point. He could only assume it had been from Rogue. So, without a second thought she headed out into the night.  
  
"Good ting Gambit always keep a Trojan or five in his wallet." he thought with a smirk.  
  
------------------  
  
(AN: Oh, keep your panties on I'm not going to do anything to them - for a while ;} MWAHAHAHA! - Sorry I don't know what came over me, now where in hell were we? Ah, yes the "GOOD" [note the quotes] part)  
  
Rogue was the first to arrive, "What the?" she was rather confused at the sight of Canadian squad car 69 (hehe).  
  
Rogue turned at the sound of Remy's motorcycle coming up the mountain, "Evnin' ma Chere," said Gambit as killed the engine (not literally!).  
  
"Ah'm heah what do want, Swamp Rat?" asked Rogue as she crossed her arms.  
  
"Gambit was gonna ask Cher de same question."  
  
"What? You e-mailed me to meet you here," Rogue insisted.  
  
"Non, Chere texted Remy to meet her here," he said holding up his phone.  
  
"Well, if Ah didn't texed you an' you didn't e-mail me, who did?"  
  
"Uh, where'd de car come from?"  
  
"Ah dunno it was there when Ah got here."  
  
"Look, dere's sometin' under the windshield wiper," said Gambit.  
  
Rogue walked over to find a piece of paper, "It a note," she opened it, "'Dear R+R, consider this an early wedding from your friends on the force. We couldn't help but notice some sexual tension, while you were in cell B. So, we thought we would lend you the car for a night, don't worry we will come and pick it up tomorrow and you're more than welcome to keep the uniforms in the front seat as well as the hats, but we do need the cuffs back- the keys are in the back seat. With love Paul, Bob, Larry and Zeek (wherever that damn hoarse has dragged him to).'" Rogue finished reading the letter and looked into the front seat, "OH MAH GAWD! They even threw in a box of lubricated Trojans."  
  
"Only de best, non?"  
  
Good thing it was dark out because Rogue was turning fire engine red.  
  
"Up for a midnight ride, Chere?"  
  
"Only if Ah get to wear the spurs."  
  
----------------  
  
Meanwhile, little did Rogue know once she had left Kitty headed out to pay a late night visit to Lance.  
  
"That was like amazing!" squealed Kitty as she nuzzled under Lance's chin.  
  
"Gambit and Rogue should get arrested more often, you've never done half that stuff before."  
  
"MMmmm, I'm glad you enjoyed it," purred Kitty rolling onto Lance's chest.  
  
"So wadda ya wanna do now?" asked Lance, "There's some cherry coke down in the kitchen (AN: Yes, Panther Nesmith, I've made my decision. If you're a little in the dark about this check the reviews for Chapter 7 and you'll see and a HUGE thanx to all [in no specific order Dyst, Carla, Bunny Angel, Panther Nesmith and ishandahalf] those who have sent in reviews they are greatly appreciated)."  
  
"Uh, Lance," Kitty said sweetly.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I'm like not straddling your knee because I'm thirsty."  
  
----------------  
  
Three hours later Gambit and Rogue were lazily staring at the ceiling of the cruiser.  
  
"Damn, Cher, we need to get arrested more often," said Gambit smelling Rogue's hair.  
  
"Wanna go again, Cajun?"  
  
"Wid what?" asked Gambit holding up the empty Trojan box (Does this seem excessive to anyone?).  
  
Rogue sighed, "We should get goin' the sun will rise soon."  
  
"You be right, Cher. C'mon Gambit'll help with yo' clothes."  
  
"Ah think most of them are outside the car." said Rogue as she went for the handle, "Uh, Gambit?"  
  
"Oui, Petit?"  
  
"Is your door locked?"  
  
Gambit frantically tugged at the handle, but to avail, "Mon Dui, we be locked in!"  
  
That's when Rogue found the note from their friends on the force, apparently she forgot to turn it over, "'P.S.," she read, "Do not under any circumstance close the doors when you're in the backseat, you will automatically be locked it and the doors can only be opened from the outside."  
  
"MERDE!" Remy leaned back in the seat covering his red and black eyes with his hand, "Now what?!"  
  
"Uh, Ah still have mah cell phone." said Rogue as she began to dial frantically, "Kitty, yer not gonna believe this-"  
  
~Fin~  
  
More to come next up: How Much Embarrassment Can 2 Mutants Take  
  
Oh will the insanity ever end? (Of course not! Tell me you didn't have to think about that!) Until next time remember insane times lead to insane measures.  
  
MWHAHAHAH! 


End file.
